my RepLy

I know that some of my readers were wondering if I replied to the email of my friend who will get married soon. After taking some time thinking if I will or will not. I chose the will side, that is because he became as one of my good friends before and he was one of the good memories of my past, and I know sooner or later, the much awaited closure will finally come true.
So here it is...

from me <@gmail.com>
to « him »
date Mon, Aug 11, 2008 at 1:24 AM
subject Re: ---I miss you---
mailed-by gmail.com

Hi there!

Was really surprised when I read your email, I thought that this email address has been forgotten by someone special... someone who has been a part of my past... someone who has been a good friend to me.

Good to know that at last, you found her, and actually before I read your email I already knew that you're engaged, our good friend sent me a message about the news.

Honestly I'm happy for you (I sincerely do) because I know that you always wanted to have someone to take care of you, someone who will attend to your needs and someone who will listen to your mega-habang kwento.

As for me, I'm doing good, I'm managing a laundry shop, and at the same time working as part of US and Canada Customs and raising naughty creatures, it's tough but it's fun... you know me... I love to keep myself busy as always :P

Thanks for remembering me and I want to say sorry for everything. I don't have any intentions to make your life as well as mine to be more complicated that's why I chose to shut off anything that is related to you, anything that will remind me of you, or anything that will bring us into a huge mess. It's painful but we both know that it's the best decision for both of us, right?

Even if there are things that seem not to be perfect in my life right now, I would still not choose the easy path as what I always tell you my kids are very important on all the decisions I have to make and I guess that's the reason why I have to turn down tempting offers hehehe

Cheer up, we can still rekindle the friendship we once had, I'm just here, nothing has changed except that I now have few lines on my face because of stress ;p.
As what you told me few years back I'm better as a friend than a lover hahaha.

~ME~


and yeah I also miss you :)

Very funny! While posting this entry, tears are slowly building up in my eyes. Paul was right, when he told me that as "I grow old my realizations about life become deeper, problems get bigger, situations become more complicated" that's why sometimes I wish I could go back when the only man in my life was my Dad and my only best friend was my mom and any pain could be healed by just a band aid and a lollipop...

I never asked to have an easier life, I just wish I could avoid hurting other people's feelings especially those who have been good to me. But as much as I want to choose something that can make me and them happy, there are innocent lives at stake, and I don't want their lives to be abnormal because their mom is selfish.

I haven't checked my email after I sent my reply. Well I wanted to cool down my emotions first and when I'm ready to know what I have to know, then probably that is the signal for me to check his reply.

I know there is an ending to all of this, I just have to hold on and keep moving :)

thinkin of' "Million Miles Away by Nikki Gil"