Walked away

I was not expecting the reactions and responses of my officemates when they learned that this is my last day. Most of them were really surprised, including my boss, I can't blame them, no one had any idea that I had plans of leaving this early. Honestly I was also surpised with my abrupt decision, but I don't have any regrets because I believe I did my best to prove to them that I took my job seriously even if I stayed for a very short period of time, but then it's not all worth it, thus I decided to just walk away.

Though I had fun working with the people at ew@y, and even if I'm already comfortable with my customers... I still decided to leave without having a second thought that is because there are other areas of the company that I cannot take anymore and besides, I'm no longer happy with what I'm doing.

And maybe because my mind has already matured, that's why I was now looking for a serious career rather than a temporary job and I'm glad, I'm working things out little by little. (and I owe a lot to my very supportive husband)

I know what I'm going through is not an overnight thing, there will be a lot of humps and bumps, but if I won't start now, I might regret not taking this journey seriously. I might get old without anything to be proud of to my kids.

I was touched to the words that my boss said to me, I thought he doesn't like Filipinos including me, but earlier, I could feel his sincerity in saying that I did a great job and he was very much impressed with my performance but was disappointed for an immediate resignation. I love how Fei, Edward, Dollie, Aisha and Raffy replied to my email, looks like in my own simple ways I touched so many lives and I'm just happy I followed what my heart wants... it is to walked away from ew@y :)


thinkin' of "Go on Girl by Neyo"

at Last...

I love the new layout of my blog... so so happy about it. Well, it took me a week to come up with this idea, but it's all worth it. Yay!!!

Last night the kids slept very early so I had the chance to watch the Pinoy Dream Academy and I love the performance of Chiva as he sang the song of Pink "just like a pill", and now the song has been playing in my head the whole day whoa!


thinkin' of "Just Like a Pill by Pink"

Interesting book

I've been planning to buy this book last year, but because I got very busy with the coming of the new member of our family, I forgot that plan... This book was recommended by my friend who's been dating cute yuppies, she said I will get a lot of tips on how to be needed by my man... Hmmm sounds interesting, the title itself really intrigues me ... whoa! can't help to buy this over the week end.


thinkin' of "Bye Bye by Mariah Carey"

Plans to be planned...

I have been experiencing worst migraine lately, which oftentimes made me to go on half-day from work or be absent because of the pain in my head that is really killing me. The relieved I feel for the meantime was because of the pain-killers I'm taking in so I can still do my daily tasks.

I went to a doctor earlier but referred me to see an ophthalmologist, looks like the grade of my eyes was doubled, that's why every time that I don't wear my glasses, my head is aching so bad especially that my work requires me to glue my eyes on the monitor for more than 10 hours.

And the worst advise of the doctor, is for me to take a rest and not to stress myself too much by thinking so many things everyday. She was even surprised when she found out that I'm already working after 2 months that I gave birth by CS section, she was like "Are you crazy?!?! What's with you??? You should be at home, gaining more strength because you gave just gave birth and was also ligated, you're really killing yourself!!!"

After listening to my doctor like a 5-year old child, I realized that she was right... my mom was right and my husband was absolutely right. Why am I too paranoid of what will happen to me tomorrow, instead of just living in the present, I'm pre-occupying my mind on what happened in the past, what am I gonna do today and what will be my plans in the future... Whew! Those maybe the reasons that kill my brain cells which caused the terrible pain in my head hehehe

I may be not that organized when it comes to my career, but little by little, I'm working on it by following my heart... doing what I really love most. I still worry what I will become in the future, but I'm starting to trust the Lord with my plans,well I bet He knows best than anyone. So for now I have to take the back seat and leave everything in the hands of my Driver :)



thinkin' of "Gimme More by Britney Spears"

Night-OUT

It's been a while since the last time me and my Highschool buddies went out and had a dinner in one of the fancy restaurants in Greenbelt, most of the time, due to our very hectic schedule, we just go out and have some coffee, then after an hour, it's time fo us to go home.

At last, the most awaited plan pushed through, and as usual the bill is on me (grrr!!). We ate at Rocketfellar, and I may say the food was good, I have to set aside my diet for the meantime because of those yummy dishes. I even took some pictures and planning to eat again on that resto with my mom.

"Love the fish and chips/ 5-layer nacho dip/ country style chicken/ linquinni prawns/ barbecue spareribs and the carbonara"


"My plate after few minutes of tasting everything, yum! yum!"


"PICTURES... PICTURES"


"Lights and Coffee?!?! Awesome to keep you up!!!"


"Anna told me that I still look cool even if I feel so tired and sleepy"


Next stop will be at the dampa-resto @ MOA... can't wait to try their dishes... aha! aha! But for now, have to activate my diet-mode again :)


thinkin' of "Don't Stop the Music by Rihanna"

Rainy days now get me down

It's been raining for a week now and I feel a lil' gloomy, I dunno why, I feel so weak and so tired and so sickly lately. I dunno if that is because of the weather or because of too much stress from work and at home.

When I was a kid I love when it rains not only because classes are suspended but because I have tons of memories to remember when it rains... mom cooking delicious soup for us, me and Kuya playing inside the tent, friends will come over, will stay in my room and will watch dvds all day long.

I like the feeling of coldness when it rains, the thought of it makes me to feel sleepy and relax. So it's kinda weird why all of a sudden I don't like when it rains.. uhmmm mood swings, i guess... urghh!! i hate being a woman ;B


thinkin' of "Bleeding by Leona Lewis"

Unanswered

It's starting to sink in that what I felt last month was just an attraction, nothing more than that whew! I thought I will be having a huge problem... Though, something is missing, I know I can be there for him as a friend and I know he is to me, so I will just settle for that fact.

Thank God even if I meet "potential boylets" and even if few expressed their intentions on being more than friends, I can still control myself of not getting involved to a more complicated situation... well I just don't want to do something stupid that I might regret afterwards and I don't want my kids to curse me if they learned that I did not behave. And sometimes, I'm just irritated to my husband because of his attitude, but inside of me... I know I love him no matter how many cute guys I'll meet along the way...

My mom told me that having crushes is normal, just have to know my limitations... and for that I rest my case

HERE I AM by Air Supply

Here I am playing with those memories again
And just when I thought time had set me free
Those thoughts of you keep taunting me

Holding you, a feeling I never outgrew
Though each and every part of me has tried
Only you can fill that space inside

So theres no sense pretending
My heart its not mending

(chorus)
Just when I thought I was over you
And just when I thought I could stand on my own
Oh baby those memories come crashing through
And I just cant go on without

On my own Ive tried to make the best of it alone
Ive done everything I can to ease the pain
But only you can stop the rain

I just cant live without you
I miss everything about you

(chorus)
Just when I thought I was over you
And just when I thought I could stand on my own
Oh baby those memories come crashing through
And I just cant go on without
Go on without
Its just no good without you

Dad's tears

As celebration of Father's Day, I bought cards for my husband wherein my kids will write their own message into it. I was expecting the usual simple "thank you" from him for the effort I made for this occasion.

But I was surprised when tears fell into his eyes when he read my card. Yeah, the card I bought tells it all, how we sacrificed so much for the family... and how we struggle to be this far... etc... etc... I was also tear-eyed when I read the card.

Will try to look for the precious card in my husband's treasure box and will post the pic as well as the message on my blog soon. I just realized my hubby still have the "soft side" of being our daddy

thinkin' of "Of all the things by Dusty Springfield"

getting knoWn

I've been in the office for more than a month now, and it's kinda weird that I trusted someone to read my blog (Hi Raffy!!!) hehehe, and worst I even encouraged him to have his own addiction, yup! he has created his own blog now and I read his stuff and was surprised that even on the way he writes he's really straightforward on his opinion and ideas. I admired him as he speaks what's inside of him, no pretensions, he is just being himself. He always makes me laugh especially when he noticed that I'm glued to my computer...and staring at the monitor like a zombie...then this guy will just say something to make me back to earth again, yeah he is very funny, but he has also sumpong which is sometimes unbearable ;P

so for you my dear visitor
WELCOME TO MY PLACE BLUEDEVIL 101



We both agreed that we can criticize each other on this site, hehehe, don't worry dear, I'll be very gentle, bwahahaha!!! At first I was hesitant to have other people read my blog, but I don't care anymore because what was written here are purely thoughts coming from an author who doesn't know how to write...

thinkin' of "Lost without You by Delta Goodrem"

name Names

Was having a hard time to choose a name for my blog, yea! I wanted to re-vise and re-customize what I have right now, but then, my mind is not cooperating urghh!! all it was saying was go to bed!!! sleep!!! there is next time to do that!!! ZZzzz

Well, I'm really not in a hurry, like I said I will stay here for good, so maybe in the future I will come up with a "name" that will fit my world..

Let me post what's in my list:
~ "Mes Occulte Chambre" (my secret room)
~ Simple Pleasures
~ Let me BE
~ Bedtime Stories (err do it have to be wholesome)
~ Black Polaris (this was once my pen name when I won in an Essay Writing Contest)
~ Mixed Thoughts
~ Emotional Disaster
~ Backseat
~ Unclear Thoughts

Maybe next time I will have better names than those... but for now I will give in to what my mind is telling me... to go to bed and sleep!!!


thinkin' of "Time of my Life by David Cook"

It's a GiRL thiNg

My good friend Jem introduced me to a new kind of addiction... CLOTHES!!! She introduced me to this dressmaker who is soo galing that she can create all the modern and fashionable pieces I like... she can copied even the complicated raffles and ribbons... here are the few pieces that manang have created simply for me...

Wore this at Berenice's Christening


My bigday outfit


Wore this at Zach's birthday party


Wore this when I had dinner date with hubby


Will post more of Manang's creations next time... yea yea yea it's fun to be a woman :)

thinkin' of "Go Girl by Pitbull"

Me-as-ME

Been a very stressful and tiring week for me... have to do this, have to accomplish that, have to go there, have to call him, have to accompany her, etc etc etc... URGHH!!! My head is spinning for all the taks I've been doing lately, (Account Manager/ Businesswoman/ Lawfirm Secretary/ Momi/ Wife/ Daughter/ Friend/ Listener/ Yaya/ etc/ etc/ etc... the pressure was very high, the time was too short... but thank God I was born with so much coolness that even with only 2 hours of sleep everyday, I can still function with a smile. And thank goodness to my husband for allowing me to go out with friends (even out-of-town trips)at least once a week so I can relax and release all the strezz within me. I know he understands that it's very tough to be me.

I'm not complaining,
I love what I'm doing,
I love to work,
I love to keep myself busy,
I love to earn,
I love to do many things while I'm still young,
I love to meet different kinds of people,
I love to travel!!

But sometimes, I could really feel that my body needs to breathe,
my mind needs to take a back seat,
my eyes need to freeze,
my hands need a massage,
and my back needs a good rub,
and to top it all, ME needs a warm hug.

I know that the people around me are also busy with their own lives, but I'm very happy because with just one text, with just one call, they will be there to make me feel good.

I have realized that I'm no longer the Tin that have simple dreams, like simple pleasures, aim for simple satisfaction.

A life for me before was very simple, I just want to finish college and have work (no idea what kind of work as long as it is work). And before I don't even plan to buy my own house, or to travel at my own expense, well it's because fairy-good-mom is willing to help, as well as santa-pop, that's why I spend a lot to things even if I don't need them, I just want to spend that's all (very simple isn't it?!?)

But now, I'm really different...
my life now is so much different,
my attitude and point of views are different...

but I love the new ME, responsible, patient and very CooL :)


thinkin' of "Fast Car by Tracy Chapman"

PARTY TIME!!!

A day before my bigday, my husband's friend Zomer held his kids' party at the clubhouse of our condominium. Hubby is in Isabela so I thought it would be okay not to attend the party, wala lang I just want to stay at home the whole day.. though it's only few steps away from our unit, hehehe very lazy girl. But then, hubby keeps on calling me, reminding me that party will start at 2pm.. that it will be fun, bring the kids and help them join the games blah blah blah, urghh!! I have no choice but to rush to the nearest mall to buy a gift and be back at home to prepare the kids.

In the end, the party was soo soo fun, the decorations were cool and the magician was very funny, my kids had so much fun too, and the food was great...

Bienne having her tattoo



Alfons as "Joaquin Bordado"



My little Bea... can't get enough of her prizes



Spidey (the b-day boy Zach) and MJ (my Bienne)



When we got home, my kids were hugging me, kissing me, shouting how much they love me and thanking me for bringing them to be party and be their yaya. I didn't realize that the simple favor of their dad would be a simple teaching for me that I am already a mom of 4 wonderful creatures. And before my bigday comes, I realized that I got the best presents a woman can ever have... to be a MOM

thinkin' of "Bubbly by Colbie Caillat"