Goodbye 2008. Hello 2009.

My 2008 was like a kiss from a good-looking stranger.. very sweet but afterwards, you just want to forget everything that had happened so not to spoil the moment...

Many memories will be cherished, but few will be forgotten. I will always be thankful to the experiences, mistakes and learnings that taught me how the world works and how I can adapt to change.

What's good about 2008 was I learned how interesting woman Kristin is. that's why I am more excited to welcome 2009 as I now know, what and who's my priority in life.

Well, I guess... I'm back on the race ;p

Cheers!!!

Moving On 001

“Love is like grass. If you fall on it, it may leave a stain and some temporary pain.

But you’ll get over the pain, it will eventually stop hurting.

Now maybe the stain ruined your favorite pair of jeans, or maybe it was nothing special that was ruined, but either way the stain remains there.

And with time, it will begin to fade, but it will always be there, a permanent reminder that you, too, once fell.”

Dreams are made for children

Was arguing with him about my very weird dream last night which is I'm kissing him in Africa...

Sulit: wait... I had a question myself a while ago
Matti: huh? what?
Sulit: your dream
Sulit: the kiss
Sulit: was it just a kiss?
Matti: yeah! a kiss that was lasted for 2 mins I think...
Sulit: ok. yun lnag. thanks!
Matti: hahaha! why?
Sulit: why what?
Matti: why do u want to know if that was just a kiss?
Matti: hmmm u wanted to kiss me siguro before noh??
Sulit: hehehe... well, now that you mentioned it...
Sulit: I do remember...
Sulit: feeling...
Sulit: that...
Sulit: you wanted to kiss me before
Matti: hahaha! can't remember... sounds like that u do wanted to kiss me before noh??? hahaha!
Matti: speechless ang mama!!
Sulit: Hahaha! I'm not the one who is dreaming about it
Matti: weh! so its true nga that you wanted to kiss me before?

Hide Recent Messages (F3)

Sulit: I got a meeting
Sulit: but when I thought you were single.. I wanted to kiss you

Well, I just have to satisfy myself that dreams are only for children and not for grown ups who are trying to fix a family... Some may think that dreams are suppressed desires but for me a dream is just a plain event that happens when you're tired and stressed out! ;p

He may be right for always blaming me why I have married for the wrong reasons as we have a lot of things in common and might have shared happy things together if we'll give it a shot!

But honestly, he's not the only interesting guy who said those things to me lately, and it's kinda hard as I'm not into something right now but I need some people who may help me to bring back the pieces of myself again... and at this point, men are all over my world! Urgh!



thinkin of' "Sway" by Pussy Cat Dolls

finally... it's over

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

Last night was a huge realization of my life, after I got tired of crying and calming myself... I realized that I'm just hurting myself by giving everything I have and doing everything I can to someone who cannot even respect me as a woman.

I know this battle won't be easy when I decided to just give up this marriage, yea! just give it up because it's useless, it's tiring and it's killing me!

As much as I want to try to understand his grumpiness, still I cannot find the reason why he's always mean to me but not with other people... he's always mad at me as if he doesn't want to see me around, and the way he treats me (i'm like one of the helpers), and the way he speaks to me (he's always shouting though I'm only 3 feet away). I just cannot figure it out why of all the people, it's me whom he loves to HURT!

Me... who always prepares his food and his things
Me... who always attends to his needs
Me... who only listens to him until 3am (even if I have work at 6am)
Me... who always have time if he asks me to do the errands or if he asks me to go to Cubao at 4pm (even if I'm pregnant)
Me... who cleans his shoes and keeps his cabinets neat

But I guess, my heart is right in telling me that I should better stop loving my husband who never introduced me as his wife to his friends and colleagues!

I guess my mind is right, in telling me that I should give my heart a much needed rest!

and I guess my soul is right when I realized that It's over! No matter how many answers or signs I'd ask from above, this marriage is really over! So I should better stop dreaming and have to move on now!

Before I logged in, I already packed my things... I know God will help me in this battle, I know it won't be easy but I'm prepared to face the challenge... I just want to finish the race fair and square.

But my tears begin to fall when I thought of leaving my kids for a while... but I have to be tough for them... I know we'll be together soon, I just have to find a new place as I try to tape my broken me.

thinkin of' "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry by Hank Williams

Forbidden

Why it is so damn hard for them to understand

that I'm not pretty!
that I'm not sexy!
that I'm not amazing!
that I'm not interesting!

that I am married and have kids!

and...
that how I wish they will just leave me alone!
and stop giving me the importance that I need!



thinkin of' "Oh Lord, won't You buy me a Merceds Benz by Janis Joplin"

touching each other's skin =)

The past few weeks were very messy as I was assigned to do a lot of things beyond my capacity, but then I have no choice but to swallow my saliva, close my eyes and begin the show!

And what makes it more depressing was at the end of the day, it's only me and my computer... me and my blog, as this site is the only thing who listens to my sentiments how tiring life really is and how sad to be alone at night.

After checking and replying to some emails, I logged in to YM and had few chats with friends and strangers. I was relaxed a bit until karate kid logged in and completed my night with a good laugh (not a smile ha but a laugh).

Karate Kid is indeed a very funny guy and him moving to Ghana makes me feel a little bit sad as we won't have the chance to hang out anymore. But then, thank God for the Internet as we still can catch up kahit sa YM na lang =)

karate kid: ... wasnt it you that said all jokes are half meant?
laundry girl: why didn't you take up law, you're very good in reasoning out, u have won a lot of cases kung naging lawyer ka!
karate kid: well, if you'd care to know, I was pleasantly surprised when you first showed up at my doorstep
laundry girl: what do u mean surprised? why? may muta ba ako when we first met? sorry I didn't notice. hehehe
karate kid: pleasantly nga eh
laundry girl: naniniguro lang
karate kid: slow mo
laundry girl: hahahaha
laundry girl: eh kse naman positive and negative sau wlang pagkakaiba! hahaha!
laundry girl:and then... continue..
karate kid: you're such an ego tripper!!
laundry girl: hahaha! me??
karate kid: yes you!!!
karate kid: hehehe
laundry girl: well, you started it... i just want to know the reason... bout ur statement..
karate kid: hahaha... do I really have to spell it out for you? I thought you were smart enough to figure that out
laundry girl: im not in the mood to use my brain at this time, am really tired!! pfft!
karate kid: hahaha! you just gave a up a few IQ points for this...
karate kid: well, if you have to know... I thought you were cute
Matti: hehehe
laundry girl: well when i first saw you ... i was surprised too
laundry girl: at that time you look like geoff eigenmann
karate kid: hahaha! that guy is tisoy
karate kid: I'm not tisoy
karate kid: hehehe
karate kid: well, like I said, too bad both of us werent available then...
laundry girl: yeah
laundry girl: too bad! BOOH!hehehe
Matti: but well looks like u got a good catch naman
Matti: ur new girl looks mabait naman and she's cute
karate kid: yeah. she's great!
karate kid: wanna know something?
laundry girl: hmmmm
karate kid: back then... when you were still coming over... I was curious on how your skin would feel against mine...
laundry girl: HA!HA!HA!
laundry girl: sira ulo!!!
karate kid:hahaha
karate kid: but then again, we werent available. so thats that
laundry girl: LOL
laundry girl: sobra natawa ako dun!!!!
laundry girl: hey have to go wla na sa mood utak ko eh, i processed a lot of paperworks today... really tired today!
karate kid: hmmm nasa anong mood na utak mo?
laundry girl: hahaha this is fun!!!
laundry girl: kung ikaw kausap ko... uhmm
laundry girl: never mind
laundry girl: hahaha
laundry girl: magugulo lang mga moods natin hahahah!
karate kid: hehehe, yeah having you around is really fun!
karate kid: ok talk to you later!
karate kid: ayt
karate kid: bye!
laundry girl: bye!

(*karate kid is also the doctor who inteviewed me for a job in my previous post)


thinkin of' "Here with Me" by Michelle Branch