FLier

I decided to create a new flyer for my laundry shop and was still very (as in "uber") busy editing my soon-to-be online business...

Hi bloggers! whatchathink on the flyer??? Would appreciate your genuine opinion :) errr have to delete the contact details when I decided to post the flyer here to avoid stalkers harharhar

thinkin' of "One More Chance by Piolo Pascual"

Season VI

Yay! Season 6 is coming to town!!!

thinkin' of " Closer by Neyo"

R-E-G-R-E-T-S

It's been ages since the last time I opened one of my email addresses. I was killing time when I thought of opening the email addy which my konsintedora friend named "my hideout". Only 4 people know that this email addy exist.

And unfortunately I read something that made me cry for the 2nd time this year.
I HATE IT!!!!

from ”guy friend”
to “me” @gmail.com
date Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 3:20 PM
subject ---I miss you---
mailed by invalidemail.com

Hi Theen

I was still thinking how you are though, I heard many good things about you, I still want to check you myself.

It’s weird coz’ I don’t know if you still open this email address, but I’m hoping that you will have the chance to read this.

I’m getting married next year (which word do I have to use finally or at last???)
I know that this is the only thing you’ve been waiting and praying for me for many years, so here it is. I proposed to her 2 weeks ago, nothing unusual on the proposal, we’re just having dinner in a fancy resto when I asked her to marry me, rather sounds like commanding her to marry me hahaha.

She was tear-eyed when she said her YES, and as for me I still can’t explain why am I not excited to the decision I made, the feeling was mutual, she’s in love and I’m afraid to get old alone. We both want to have someone to be with at the end of the day,

But after the night I suddenly thought of you. Theen, I want to ask you if I’m making the right decision. Why is the thought of you always ruin my plans in life? Why can’t you just leave my mind ---and my heart alone, why is your sweet smile always in my dreams, your funny laugh always echoing in my ears? Why is it so hard to do the simple thing that you’ve been asking for --- why can’t I forget you?

After all these years, I’m still waiting for you to work things out with me, I don’t care how many kids you got, I don’t even care if I will be your number two, I just want you to give me a chance to take care of you and to make you happy.

STUPID!! You are STUPID!! I am expecting those words you will utter whenever I say these things to you and yea I am stupid as what I always answer.

I will visit Manila before Christmas, and I know that even if you know that I’m around, you will never communicate with me. Sometimes, I’m wondering maybe we still see each other if I did not tell you about my feelings, but on the other hand, I know I did the right thing because as what you always tell me, you will love the person more if he or she will not hide anything.

You know where I can be found, I am always logged in and yea! I do miss you… a lot!

--W--
Microsoft and Outlook are either registered trademarks or trademarks of Microsoft Corporation in the United States and/or other countries.

This guy was one of my friends in College, his school was the sister school of mine, so whenever there are soirées' or org programs he is always present.

He was very sweet but I don't know what's wrong with me why I did not give it a try with him before.

When my bf (who is my husband now) at that time asked for a cool-off thingy, he was the one who constantly reminds me that there is nothing to be sad of, he was always present whenever I feel down but I never thought that he felt differently, I thought that is how he treat his friends.

Then he has to go to London and asked me to wait for him, I did not reply but I felt something weird, we only communicate via Internet, he did not tell me that he loves me but I can feel his concern and he keeps on reminding me to wait for him. He always tells me about his plans on having a family, what are the things he will do for his wife etc etc. I never thought, I was included in his plans... And stupid as he is I did not wait for him, I thought giving my bf everything he wants will make me happy as a woman, then I got pregnant and my guy friend came back.

I never heard any bad words from him, even if he is entitled to curse me from hiding what's happening in my life. Then he told me he was in love with me he kept it from the very first day that we met because he wanted to be sure if he was really serious, he waited for us to graduate until he was sure of himself that he wanted to marry me... I no longer remember my reactions but I could still remember how I shouted at him the word STUPID!!!

We still became friends after that incident, but 4 years ago when I got separated, and when my husband was planning to file for an annulment, I asked him to leave me alone since I know that if my marriage will be put to an end, he will enter in the picture and I don't want that to happen since I don't want to complicate the lives of my kids.

He went back to London and I never heard anything from him since then.

I may have some regrets of not choosing him, but then I still believe that there are reasons why people have to be stupid, I may not know the answer at the moment, but I don't care anymore as I cannot bring back the past but I can do something for my future.

thinkin' of "No Regrets by Robbie Williams"

closing a part of my PAST

"Theen tumawag ako knina am sbi berns pmasok k dw. Ngclose ung lake. Wla psok efectiv nagun pro may pay til aug16. financial isyu."
-Jen-

Was totally shocked when I read the text message, how can good things disappear so fast? I was still thinking if I'm going to call Jen or just sent a reply... when my former manager (as well as my Kumare) called me and confirmed the news and asking if their General Manager could ask some legal advice from my husband, so I asked my husband to call the GM and try to help them as much as he can.

As much as I want to further discuss the issue here in my blog, my other side keeps on telling me that it's better to keep to myself everything I learned to avoid any involvement on legal issues that may possibly arise in the future.

Lake had a big contribution why I became tough as a CSR and as a person. I learned so many things from them not only work-related but also personal tips like how to handle back-stabbers and trying-hard-bitches and I'm proud that I won in those battles, with no help with anyone :)

I became independent and spontaneous when I became one of the claims analysts doon kanya-kanyang diskarte, you will be the one to make your own template, no spills, no scripts... and no training! You just have to sit down on your station, and ask God's help on how you will resolve the claims of irate customers. Though, there is no right or wrong answer... unfortunately it is a make or breaksituation, and you will know for yourself if you have to look for a new job hehehe. Our manager doesn't even care if you sleep during shifts or do other stuff as long as you hit the quota assigned to you, and you have topak... you're IN

I felt sooo sad to what had happened. I saw how the Manila team devoted their time, effort and have sacrificed better opportunities because of their loyalty with the company. I saw those hard work and tears because... once I was one of them.

I was mad with the people who ignored what the MLA team had done for their company for the past 5 years, (F*&#$!!!) "how did they forget that the reason why their business became popular and known all over the world... is because of -- Filipinos!!!" (A%@^\!!!) ~ madapasana kayo!!!~

On the lighter side, I wish my former co-workers the best especially Jen who is pregnant at this time... I will keep on praying that they can move on and that better jobs will come their way...

well I guess my heart is right... I have to end this entry and close a part of my PAST, a once beautiful past...

thinkin' of "So Close by Jon Mclaughlin"

why it is so hard to be ME

It irritates me when I have to explain to other people my side just to clear what they think of my actions.

Even if I'm not doing anything against the rule of man and heaven, I still waste my time explaining to them that it's not what they think it is!!!. I should have not care... they can voice out their opinion for all they want and I should have just ignored them, but still it affects me whenever I am being teased with the opposite sex whom I just considered as one of my friends!

I created my blog based on my thoughts and what I feel at the time I'm creating the entry and post it in here. It doesn't necessarily mean that what I feel the time I created the entry is the same feeling I will have the next time I log in.

And since I don't have much time for chit-chat with friends I thought that an online journal will help me unleash what's bothering me or what makes me excited anytime, no pressure... no effort at all.

And I guess I'm just tired of being judged whenever I want to share something that they think is not right, though on my part I don't see anything wrong with what I have done.

Most of my friends are conservative, that's why... and unfortunately, I'm very liberal and very understanding. I even have friends who are mistresses, cheaters, lesbians, gays etc. and yeah! I'm their friend, though I don't tolerate their bad deeds, I'm still there whenever they need me. Well, that's me, I can be friend by everybody, though I only have one simple rule which is I won't judge you for who you are as long as you don't mess up with me. And I love being ME and I don't have any plans to change myself at the moment because I don't think that something is wrong with me.

Many suggested that I should just go out with my husband to be safe, but it's not that easy, that's why instead of bugging him to give me some of his time or complaining of his absence, I'd rather go out with my kids or friends (boys man o girls). Eh ganun eh!

I keep myself busy with so many things so I can ignore the idea that there is something wrong with my marriage. As long as my kids are happy and as long as I can still take it, I won't entertain the thought that there is really something to be fixed.

I felt bad for those people who don't seem to understand ME, who always insist that going out with guys are some sort of a sin, WTF as long as I'm not doing anything stupid, then I guess I'm on a right track

thinkin' of "Wasted by Carrie Underwood"

Phone Conversation 001

My friend Derick has been complaining how I sound over the phone...

Derick: You sound like your mom
Me: Eh bagong gising kaya
Derick: Hindi kaya all the time kaya
Me: Yabang nito, eh di ba bye na!
Derick: No what I mean is iba yung voice mo over the phone at sa personal

Me: Sobrang pangit ba over the phone
Derick: Uhmmm not naman pangit, masagwa lang hahahaha
Me: Eh bakit tawag ka pa ng tawag, ang yabang mo talaga!
Derick: Your voice kasi sounds like a man, it's so big!
Me: My god! kanina sounds like my mom ngayon naman sounds like a man!!! Mamaya nyan sounds like a dinosaur na!!!

Derick: hahaha. When I talked to you kasi sa personal, masarap pakinggan... soothing to the ears. Or maybe because pag personal I see your face
Me: So now face ko naman lalaitin mo. O shoot!
Derick: Hindi kaya, you're pretty kaya

---Silence---

Me: uhmmm I don't find myself cute nor pretty
Derick: eh kasi ordinaryo na lang sa paningin mo yung itsura mo, but for other people iba... I find you attractive

Me (smiling): ewan ko sayo! You're too bolero for me to believe the things that you're telling me.
Derick: Oi! Hindi ako bolero
Me: Talaga lang ha, kaya ka laging quota kasi nabobola mo mga customers mo.

Derick: Oi hindi ah, maganda lang list ko saka may mga times din before na hindi ako kumota. I like your voice now, it's better, may inadjust ka ba sa phone niyo?
Me: Ang Yabang!!!!
Derick: hahaha sarap mo talaga inisin
Me: Ganun! So naaalala mo lang ako pag trip mo mang inis, cool!

Derick: Hindi ah, naiisip nga kita minsan, buti na lang nag resign ka na. Sorry din ako ang reason bakit napasok ka sa eway, nasayang pa tuloy oras mo
Me: No it's okay I had fun din naman with the people. I wouldn't have seen 22nd Street if I did not apply for eway noh, saka hindi mo ako kausap kung hindi ako napunta sa eway... hahaha.. so Ok na din kahit ganun
Derick: Sayang nga bitin eh, pero ok na din at least ok ka na ngayon, kesa magtiis ka dun
Me: I appreciate your concern, thanks!
Derick: Basta Ikaw Anytime

---Silence---

Me: Oist sige na I have so many things to finish pa. Bye na
Derick: O sige na! Sungit!
Me: Whatever!
Derick: Whatever! hahaha Ingat ka lagi!
Me: OO na! Bye
Derick: Bye Theen.

and the smile on my face was still there....

thinkin' of "Beautiful in my Eyes by Joshua Kadison"

Melodramatic

I was very tired and exhausted yesterday that I feel like throwing up...

I pushed myself to finish everything in one day, like organizing the bills... editing the new fliers for the laundry shop... listing the needed materials for the new online business... teaching the kids for their assignments... attending client meeting... etc etc

And my god! my kids were throwing tantrums everywhere and my husband whom I thought would pat me on the back to lighten up my mood even spiced up my day with a huge ARGUMENT...

I thought my bad day would never come to an end, as I was really irritated with everything and was really tired to even eat something. But then, silence came at around 10pm when I don't have any energy to even wash my face and brush my teeth. And for the very first time for this year "I sat on the bed, with a little light on the room and then I started crying... I cried like a kid and I cried like as if somebody died. It's really weird that because of too much stress I just cried for no reason at all. Maybe because I feel that crying will help me to ease the burden that I feel at that time..." and the tears did not disappoint me, after hours of crying, I got tired and fell asleep.

When I woke up earlier, I feel much better than yesterday, I feel refreshed and relieved, as if I just came out from a spa parlor. And eventhough I'm having difficulty opening my eyes, I still feel good inside :)

Having my own family really challenged me to be a tough woman, I never realized that this family has taught me many things I never expected to learn. Being the light of this family is not a piece of cake... being ME means HUGE RESPONSIBILITIES, and I guess my mom was right that there is no turning back, no right turns and definitely no left turns.

I've already swallowed everything... I swallowed my pride to say sorry even if it's not my fault. I swallowed the idea of pampering myself even for just a day and I swallowed my dream of becoming someone someday.
I have committed myself that no matter what happens, my family will be my priority, even if so many better opportunities as a career woman are knocking at my door, if it will risk my relationship and my time with my family, then I have to let it go.

I also commit myself that I won't give up, that I will be here as their mom and as a wife. But sometimes, all I wanted is to just walk away. Walking away is very tempting... I've been contemplating that maybe my life would be easier and much simpler if I just walk away, but I can't... I tried many times, but I still go back to my home, and I really dunno why.

No one promised me that this journey would be easy, but I hope with all those bumps, I can still get up and walk again..

thinkin' of "Like you'll never see Me again by Alicia Keys"

I'm Sorry... I'm in love again

I dunno why I have this huge weakness on dimples, those tiny holes on men's cheeks are so adorable... I'm sorry I can't help it, and I know that this entry is such a crap but what, can I do??? I'm only human, lumalandi pag may cute (ehem ehem) so kill me ;P

thinkin' of "Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney"

something New in my life

I'm planning to buy a new phone, to replace my ever hanging N70. I haven't tried other brands yet since I'm a very loyal Nokia user, but this MOTORAZR V9 really caught my attention... it's very elegant, very stylish, very classic...this is what I really want, something that is timeless... :)

I believe this model has been released last year, and my husband told me to check some website for reviews to see if the features and specs of this phone will work for me. Errr... I'm not a techqui person so I really don't know what is the upgraded features of a phone... as long as the phone will work on sending messages and making calls, then I guess there will be no problem on my part. I'm more into appearance of the phone that's why I fell in love with this unit.

I already checked some stores in Makati for this phone and one in Park Square gave me a very reasonable price if I'll be paying in Cash, unfortunately, at the moment they don't have the color that I want which is Mahogany, but they will call me as soon as this item becomes available.

Can't wait to hold my new baby... :)

thinkin' of "Tattoo by Jordin Sparks"